Three thousand words of blather... Just for YOU!

and to add to the title.. if you think I'm going to go back and proof read this, you gotta be kidding. I R LAZY! sooo here it is... Whatever writing from from start to finish without editin' is called... .. .. Freewrite or something? bah.. I'm titling it FreeMindlessBlatherAboutLifeAndJapanAndWhatnotWeeeeLongTitlesRock. I did that cus long titles get points with teachers. Ok not really, but I like a full-sentances-in-one-word titles. So here you go!

I’m sure you’ve all heard that the cultural differences between Japan and America are, well, pretty dang big. In fact, most of Japanese society just seems… backwards. I don’t mean this in a derogatory sense, but the fact is… looking at it through American eyes, it IS backwards.

When I first placed foot in Japan, I felt there was something definitely different. I couldn’t quite place my finger on it so to appease my brains constant questions of “why?” I just assumed that the universe was out of wack because I had moved five thousandish miles… I mean… if the center of the universe moves that far, it HAS to throw something off, right? ^_^ teehee.. anyway… After living here for a year, I think that I now have a better idea of why it feels so backwards.

It’s the change! Us Americans HATE people who use exact change, unless it’s already perfectly prepared when the cashier requests payment. The opposite is true here. I often times catch Japanese workers casting me dirty looks (equivalent to ones we would give someone USING change in America) for paying a 4,923 yen check using just one 10,000 yen bill. It’s almost as if the lack of my whipping out my wallet and digging through the change pocket for 5 minutes trying to locate enough 1 yen coins to make correct change somehow frustrates or surprises them. This hasn’t just happened once or twice, but almost every time I have to break a larger bill. Oh, by the way, no one uses credit or debit cards here, it’s all cash… so I get these evil oh-crud-its-a-gaijin-oh-look-he-didn’t-use-change-must-stare-at-him-with-evil-look-on-face-grrrr! looks waaay too often. On the opposite side, however, it IS nice to see the shop workers and people waiting in line not get all pissy like when an elderly lady paws through her purse for 10 minutes and ends up paying with thirty or so one-yen coins.
Another thing that interests me is the umbrella usage in this country. While it’s not COMPLETELY different from America, I guess… it is still interesting. See, where I’m from (Georgia) we don’t really have what can be considered a rainy season. So, I don’t recall using umbrellas much. In fact, when the word “umbrella” is uttered it conjures up the picture of three randomly coloured umbrellas that used to sit behind my front door and hardly ever get touched (they were used as swords by us rowdy children more often than being used as shields from God’s pee, like they are supposed to be!) But here in Japan, there IS a rainy season. During this rainy season I became quite used to subconsciously grabbing my umbrella as I dashed out the door, so it didn’t surprise me to see everyone else also toting around umbrellas. What is interesting about umbrellas, though, is the fact that after God turned Japan’s sprinklers off, the umbrellas didn’t disappear. A good portion of Japanese people continue to use umbrellas as shields from God’s.. umm... dangit… I can’t think of what part of God the sun could be…uugh.. so yeah.. no analogy here I guess! HEY! Stop pouting, you... I tried… I did! Why don’t YOU try to find a big glowing ball of yellow on YOUR body and tell me what I could relate it to! : P

*clears throat* anyway.. umm. Yeah.. where was I… Aha! Umbrellas! Yes, so they didn’t disappear as I would have thought they would. I guess because Japanese people know that they are probably going to live to ridiculously old ages (they normally do…) they are scared of skin cancer and whatnot. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is extremely funny to see a gyaru (a certain type of girl here... I can’t explain it in words...seriously… I’ll try to grab a picture of it or something. *Shudder* it’s creepy sometimes!) with seven or so layers of fake tan plastered to her skin, carrying an umbrella--carousel, whatever… they are just extra frilly umbrellas in my book!--to protect her skin.. from… tanning.… >_<

So yes, umbrellas are used much more here than would have been expected. Wow, I could have just summed up my whole paragraph in that one sentence, couldn’t I. Ahahaha it doesn’t bother me though… it’s YOU who lost part of your life reading this drivel! Bwueahahaha!

Anyway… the word gyaru and their amazing fashion sense ushers in the next topic: Fashion. Oh, by the way, the word ‘amazing’ there was definitely just used in the absolutely MOST derogatory way possible. Don’t worry, I won’t delve much into the extreme realms of fashion here (gyaru, cosplay, goth Lolita, maid cafes.. etc. If you want that kind of weird “hentai”ish information search for it yourself. I know… I know… it’s all “different ways to express yourself… it’s like.. art or something, dude, not just hentai related!” blah blah blah… I guess I just don’t understand this form of “art” well enough to appreciate it. ; ))

Yeah… so… Fashion here is just, well, ALL foopas. I often sat at the Star Bucks alleyway and while sipping a waito chyakkoreto moka (or champagne? Beer? Hard liquers?... I mean… that IS what all the bums in that alleyway were drinking… silly bums and their drinking places!) I would people watch. Now, if you have ever seen me, you know my fashion sense is so amazingly awesome it often times is incomprehensible to normal people (read: absolutely non-existent ) but the friends I’d sit with who actually knew fashion would comment on who walked by. At first I didn’t really pay attention to the fashion talk, I was just letting my eyes eat in all the yummy bright colours and peoples who walked by. I’ll admit it… throughout high school and into the first year of college I wore eye-jarringly bright Hawaiian shirts… so I like bright colours! Yay me! Anyway…

Gradually, as the exact same fashion foopas were repetitively noted by my friends, repetitively not like one day we’d notice one thing, then the next day we’d notice it again, but repetitively like we’d notice one person walk by, then the next one, then the next, then the next, then the next one, then the next, then the next, then the next one, then the next, then the next… (hey! its Japan, lots of people here!) even I started to notice the problems. I won’t get into specifics here (not because I don’t want to, but more because I don’t think I know enough to….. fashion is silly. There I said it! That’s what I think! Hmpf!) but a good portion of what we consider a fashion no-no is a fashion yes-yes here. If you want the general feeling that fashion radiates here, think of a girl in America that all the stuck up girls look at and go, “oh… my… do you SEE what she is weaaaaring?” followed by a (not loud but definitely audible to the fashion-senseless girl) group “Eeeeeewwww….!”

Even with all the foopas, the most amazingly-frustrate-daveed-to-no-endly worst part of the fashion here is definitely high-heels. They should die. Well not really I guess, partly cus they Are inanimate objects and my statement basically lacks all logic when actually considered… (how do you “take away life” from something that doesn’t have life?) but… still… it got the point across. They are HORRRRIBLE here! HORRIBLE! When a woman wears high heels she is supposed to… no… should be REQUIRED to walk properly. High heels are supposed to add “rawr!” factor to the calves makin’ them all smurfy lookin’ and whatnot. They are also supposed to force the lady to seductively swing her hips while walking.. yet.. MORE… “raaawr” boosting, right? So, high heels should deffinitally boost the good-lookin’ness of a woman who wears them or… at least that’s the idea, if I’m not mistaken. This definitely doesn’t happen in Japan. In fact it’s so bad here I find myself subconsciously more attracted to the odd chic out who opts for sneakers. She probably is walking around thinking “oh no! I look so grungy today! I don’t have high heels on like everyone else!” seeing as how 90-95% of the girls here wear high heels every day, but I don’t care. She gets +10 cool points just for not wearing high heels.

The reason that I have portrayed high heels as being so icky is because Japanese girls wear them day in and day out… Buuuut… they don’t walk properly at all. This breeds quite the plethora of problems! Over time it screws up the legs and knees of the wearer, which in turn forces the gait of the lady to change, which wears off the already-small surface area of the heel at an odd angle, further aggravating the gait… etc etc….. it’s a vicious cycle.

Once I saw a girl here walking quite normally (for her) with high heels whose stiletto’s point touched the ground at a 45, or 135 degree angle depending on how you look at it (hehe.. I have 4 math classes next semester >_> give me a break if I’m trying to get my mind into math mode!) By being able to walk like this every day, I can only assume they have ankles strong enough to break... oh I dunno... something built with that supposedly unbreakable mythical metal, Adamantium. It WAS unbreakable till this Japanese girl trained up her ankles to an unbelievable strength by walking awkwardly with high heels. Who would have thunk it… Wolverine’s arch enemy would be a Japanese girl’s ankle… wow.. and so many people think he is so cool too! Ahaha… I just ruined X-Men 4 for you! That’s right! I saw a preview! It’s titled “Wolverine VS The Japanese Ankle!” (as sad as it is… that almost sounded like a real comic book villin…”The Japanese Ankle” >_<) The ankle wins. During the big fight between hero and villin… Wolverine... gets.. walked… all… over.. ahaha sorry for that pun… it made me titter like a little school girl though so it was worth it! : )

okokokok… enough rabit trailing… … … hehe.. aww that was fun… DOWN WITH ACADEMIC WRITING AND ITS RULES OF… good content… >_< Wha?? Blogging isn’t graded on word count?? Oh gargh.. I guess I’m stuck in the “MUST WRITE 15 PAGE PAPER IN 4 HOURS!! AHHH!!” mode that finals put me in.

okok… REALLY enough rabit trailing now.

So…

Yeah, Japanese fashion is basically complete opposite from American. High heels here are misworn every day, by everyone, umbrellas… yada yada… Ah! I’ve got it! Next thingymabober that is completely backwards! Acccaaademics.

Academics… blah! Well its two parts, the academics makes me go “blah!” not because of the content, but more because of the system. In theory we studied/learned everything (maybe more?) than our American counterparts… what was missing this year was, well, basically every motivator that an American student has. My grades don’t transfer, just pass/fail transfer. Add that with the very true rumor that it is basically impossible to fail in Japan… The funny part is if you DO happen to fail somehow, F’s don’t even go on your transcript... so I guess its pass/pass for me? : P If you get an F, It’s like you didn’t even take the class. I had one Japanese friend who didn’t want to take half of his classes after registering so instead of dropping them by filling out loads of paper work, he just went to the teachers and asked them to fail him. Sounds weird? Going to teachers and asking to be failed? Well… Like I said before it’s almost impossible to actually fail any class due to bad studentship here, so this friend went to the teachers at least 3 times, making SURE they would fail him. The reason for these constant “please fail me” visits was because he was scared they would give him a D even though he never showed up for class or took any tests. Not being able to fail, and only pass/fail(pass) transferring to my American college… yeah… sufficient to say I had absolutely no academic motivation. What? Learn for learning’s sake you say? Bah humbug. That’s definitely not what modern day undergraduate college is about. It’s all about the grades and that little piece of paper you get after graduating that states “Pay this person more money than that other dude without this paper.”

My view on higher education is… rather pathetic isn’t it… Oh well.

Another thing about Academics in Japan is cheating. It’s almost encouraged here rather than trickily caught. In fact, I saw at least 3 people using electric dictionaries on our Japanese final this semester. The teacher walked by them and didn’t say anything. Also the teacher left the room for a good portion of the test as well. I do understand how this came about though, apparently kids are so stressed about entrance exams to college that juvenile suicide is actually a big problem. All the effort that normal American college students put forth DURING college is put forth before actually entering college here. Another interesting thing that comes about because of this difference in school systems is that just claiming school affiliation is basically stating a level of intellect. I can’t tell you how many times I have told someone “ah, hai… ima yokohama kokuritsudaigaku no gakusei desu. (I am a student of Yokohama National University right now.) YNU is normally ranked in the top 10 public schools in Japan. They almost always replied “Ehhhh? (very Japanese sound…) atama ga ii ne! (Literally “your head is good!” aka “you must be smart!”) It’s often times not a question of are you a good student? Do you have honors? What are your accomplishments? It’s just “what school do/did you go to?” or “What company do you work for?” that determines someone level in society. Very much different from our achievement based society.

Anyways… enough of this boring… THINKING… thing.. back to the normal ellipsis-using playfully hard-to-understand normalness of daveeeeds bloooog! ^_^ yay! Now what shall the next topic beeeeeee… hmmmm… I guess I’ll make two quick points and rap this amazingly long blog up. Cell phones and trains!

Cell phones… In America I almost never… actually less than almost never.. so.. umm.. Extremely rarely? used txt msgs. (can you even say “Extremely rarely?” I guess technically I should go back and change that...it might be a no-no but I don’t care! This isn’t academics buwaehaehahaha! YES! Weeeee!) In Japan though, hardly anyone ever calls each other… everyone communicates through text messages. It is fun for me because it reminds me of MSN, or AIM, or something. I can honestly say I am as comfortable communicating through text as any other form (including verbal... auditory speaking is so last century.) That being said, using text messaging, a method of communication that I am quite adept in, makes me happy. I sometimes would talk with friends all day long even though we knew we wouldn’t see each other during that day. Idly talking about how fun bike riding is, how nice it would be to never have to go home, how a life in the woods reading books without any academic or life pressures would be amazing (granted getting food and money might be a little hard, but seriously.. books! It’s worth it isn’t it? ^_^ who wouldn’t want to do that! Hehe… I once even had a conversation on how I wanted to live in a cave and become like a spider… in a way. I’d make my web/house up on a ledge where I’d lure prey in and after consuming everything useful that they brought, dispose of them by throwing them at passer bys... or just pushing them off my ledge... (Why are those passer byers in my cave in the first place… that is if I haven’t lured them there on purpose…come to me my pretties.. bwueahahahaha… mmm…. Fooood…. >_> actually I’m hungry… err.. oh dang.. is this thing still on? STOP STEALING MY THOUGHTS YOU!!!)... mmm this daydream sounds tasty… ahh… I like spiders… I’d like living in that cave.. if only that could happen.. awww… caves are awesome! Okok I guess I should end this parenthases statement... it IS already full of something that is very close to (or actually is) blather anyway… :D) sooo… yet again… coming back from one of the many rabbit trails, Cell phones here are awesome.

Trains… trains… umm what to say… I like trains. I hate driving. If you ever have talked to me about that, you know it already… so… basically trains rock because they make it so I don’t have to drive. Japan is small enough, and well littered with trains that you really don’t need a car here at all. In my travels I never once got into a car. (I did take a taxi once or twice, but normally out of lazyness… not necesitiy. And it wasn’t during the travels so that previous statement is true!) soooo… yeah…. Trains rock.

Well… that pretty much wraps up this amazingly long blog post about.. well.. various issues related to my life in Japan, Japanese culture, and my just normal strange interest in random things. I guess since some of you are stuck in that annoying academic mindframe of writing I should have a concluding sentence or two.. so…

A lot of things in Japan seem backwards to Americans.

A lot of these backward things are annoying because I am American.

After a year of living in Japan though, they become less and less annoying.
Yay Japan.

Hmpf.

Final conclusion… … …Bah forget this.

Dang academic rules of conclusions and whatnot.. can’t writing ever be.. oh.. I dunno.. just mindless blather.. and everyone accept that? HMPF! (cus that’s what you got this time! ^_^)

Toodles!

-Daveed.